Death is Eternal #399
Sunday. May 5, 2024. 2,600 words.
Am I aiming for this Death is Eternal to have 2,500 words again? You bet! Why? To be completely honest, I don’t know. It just seems a nice number for a newsletter. Would I be happy with 2,000? Yes. 3,000? Also, yes. I guess I’d be satisfied with any number that either finishes in 000 or 500. Although, 1,000 words would be a bit disappointing. Even 1,500 wouldn’t thrill me, which is funny because I aimed for that number some time ago—but the short stories were shorter back then. Well, anyway, isn’t that life? Before was 1,500. Today is 2,500. Tomorrow? No one knows! Oh! I completely forgot this is the first Death is Eternal of May. And why does that matter? Because the first newsletter of the month is always free for everyone! So enjoy it!
Contents
The Man, The Writer, and The Author
Writing: Falling Apart
Bye! Oh, Wait!
Life (from April 29 to May 12, 2024)
Death is Eternal review #275: Impulse by Todd Dezago and others
The end
1. The Man, The Writer, and The Author
“How do you weave a story when your mind is a blank canvas?” The man mused, his fingers hovering over the keys. “Or rather, how do you breathe life into characters when your mind is cluttered with everything else? Laden with guilt for not writing more regularly. Burdened with work-related stress. Anxious under the weight of late capitalism? Where do you find, if not the inspiration to create something you’ll love, at least the right mental space to sit down and start connecting words you don’t feel the urge to delete? Where and how?”
As the notifications incessantly interrupted his thoughts, the writer grappled with the realization that the world was never truly at bay, even when he attempted to shut it out with the aid of technology. It always found a way in, a loophole, a crack in the armour. The writer believed he was shielded from technology's influence, but Silicon Valley always managed to intrude.
There were times when the author would find himself in a state of comfort while writing. The words, which previously seemed to be a struggle, would start to flow easily. The notifications, once a hindrance, had now ceased, and his fingers would fly across the keyboard. However, his body would then betray him. It could be an urgent need to go to the bathroom or a parched mouth that would cause him to pause. At other times, it would be his lower back or his posture that would demand his attention. It felt as though the world and his own body were against him, disrupting his writing flow.
Yet, the writer persisted.
Despite the many technological temptations surrounding him, the man resisted their alluring calls. However, he couldn’t resist the bio breaks. Every time he got up from his seat to attend to this unavoidable human need, he couldn’t help but feel a temporary sense of relief. However, when he returned to his writing, he would let out a deep sigh of frustration because the magic that was once present had vanished, leaving him with the daunting task of climbing the uphill battle of writing once again.
The man sitting in front of his computer didn’t seem bothered by the task ahead of him. He had done this many times before, and it had become a routine for him. Despite the difficulty of the task, he kept pushing himself, both mentally and physically. His fingers moved, first slowly, then rapidly, over the keyboard, typing out the words that he hoped would eventually form a coherent piece of writing.
Although restarting writing was challenging, the writer knew it was still easier than starting from scratch. Every time he began a new piece of writing, the beginning was always the most challenging part. But once he got going, he found that the words flowed more easily, and the task became less daunting, even after a break.
So, the writer wrote.
As he poured himself into his writing, the author’s confidence grew. A story was unfolding before his very eyes, taking shape like a living, breathing thing. The characters he had created were no longer just vague sketches in his mind; their voices rang out loud and clear as if they were real people standing right beside him. No longer did he struggle to hear them speak—they were speaking through him, using his fingers as their instrument. And as he wrote, he began to realize that the words he had chosen at the beginning of the story were not just a haphazard collection of sounds but rather keys to the deeper meaning and tone that lay hidden within the story’s heart. With each passing moment, he felt less and less like an imposter and more like a true master of his craft.
The writer’s sense of accomplishment was palpable as he reflected on his recent creation. A sense of wonder and curiosity crept in as he pondered the reasons why starting is always such a daunting task despite the undeniable joy it brings. The satisfaction of a job well done, he knew, would soon be evident on his smiling face. The writer couldn’t help but question why he didn’t engage in writing more often when it was such a fulfilling activity.
And there lies the problem.
The man experiences a sense of guilt when the excitement of writing fades away. Despite knowing that writing comes naturally to him, he finds himself avoiding it. He feels guilty for not prioritizing his own happiness and for associating writing with both joy and sorrow. He wonders how writing, which made him feel so good mere seconds before, could now make him feel so bad. The man contemplates a question that has been nagging at him for a while, one that he fears to articulate, “What if I'm a fraud?” This thought haunts him and stops him from writing more.
“What if my failure to achieve my desired goals is not due to external factors such as bad luck but rather because of my own shortcomings and lack of ability?”
As the man read over his latest story, he initially felt a sense of pride and excitement. He had played with the words, changed them around, and created a unique and exciting piece that he was sure would be appreciated and understood by others. However, as he read through it again, doubts began to creep in. Would anyone else understand the way he played with the words? Did it only make sense in his own head? Suddenly, the man no longer felt like a genius. He realized that he had ruined his own creation. He knew that an author would have been able to elevate the piece while a writer would have been able to make it work. But he was only a man, and what did he know about writing?
The highs were highs. But the lows...
The man was acutely aware of the reason behind his irregular writing habit. However, the writer within him and the author he aspired to be were well cognizant of the fact that they could not abstain from their passion for too long. Thus, with an unyielding spirit and a relentless drive, they persevered, hoping that someday one of them would emerge victorious. Yet, deep down, they knew that the day of triumph would always remain a distant dream.
Probably.
The end
2. Writing: Falling Apart
Once upon a time, I used to delve into the explanations behind my written pieces. The last instance of this was documented in Death is Eternal #363. However, an intriguing turn of events led me to cease this practice, primarily driven by a desire to keep the newsletter concise. Yet, today marks a revival of this tradition spurred by an enlightening conversation with Stella Harvey regarding my recent short story. I found our discussion compelling and believe it’s worthwhile to share with you, as it sheds light on my creative process.
In essence, Stella responded to Falling Apart with a perspective asserting the value of fighting for marriages—a sentiment I wholeheartedly endorse, despite what the story may imply. You see, my aim was never to disparage marriage itself. Rather, my inspiration stemmed from an idea I encountered and wished to illustrate a scenario where it could be applied. What exactly did I stumble upon?
“I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned ‘forever’ into the only acceptable definition of success.
“Like... if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a ‘failed’ business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a ‘failed’ writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you divorced, it’s a ‘failed’ marriage.
“The only acceptable ‘win condition’ is ‘you keep doing that thing forever’. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done you move on is considered less valuable or not a ‘real’ friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a ‘phase’ - or, alternatively, a ‘pity’ that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is ‘dying’ because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.
“I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success... I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.”
Source: https://bsky.app/profile/cjsubko.bsky.social/post/3kra7yb7erb2d
While I resonate deeply with Stella’s viewpoint, I also resonate with the underlying reflection. This duality is what I endeavoured to convey through Falling Apart. Yet, I acknowledge where I fell short.
In crafting a short story, brevity became both a tool and a stumbling block. Unfortunately, the brevity inadvertently rendered the passage of time within the narrative too swift. Despite my descriptions of the couple’s years of struggle and their efforts in therapy and communication spanning over the years, the condensed format failed to convey the weight of their journey. Without that sense of duration, it might seem as though they hastily surrendered, which couldn’t be further from the truth.
Why do I elaborate on this here?
Stella’s insights illuminated a crucial aspect of writing: it’s not merely about what you write or how clearly you express it. If readers don’t feel the gravity of your words, they may miss the intended message entirely. Furthermore, it’s essential to remember that readers aren’t privy to the author’s intentions; they only have the words on the page to guide them. Intentions fade into insignificance compared to execution.
Falling Apart isn’t a commentary on giving up at the first sign of trouble. Rather, it explores the notion that success in life may be gauged by metrics beyond mere longevity—prompting a more interesting question, “Must we quantify success at all?”
P.S.: In a moment of irony, I’ve just realized the double entendre of the story’s title. Not only did the marriage depicted in the tale disintegrate, but so did the clarity of my intended message. Sometimes, it seems, the universe has a penchant for the unexpected twists of fate.
3. Bye! Oh, Wait!
Here’s where we say our farewell to the free subscribers... Oh, wait! Not this week. This week, everyone can read until the end. If you’re a paying subscriber, you know what to expect. If you aren’t, you should seriously consider becoming one!
4. Life (from April 29 to May 12, 2024)
Not a whole lot happened this week, other than yesterday (May 4, 2024), at least.
Saturday was a good day because it was Free Comic Book Day. I mean, it’s comics for free; how can I complain?
Additionally, Jessica and I went to a local bookshop (The Book Man) here in Abbotsford to buy a gift for a friend, and I ended up snatching a Dune box with all the books Frank Herbert wrote in the universe he created. So how can I not love a day when I get comics for free and a box I’ve been chasing for a while now?
But! But that’s not the only thing. As aforementioned, we were buying a present, which means a party. A party with Brazilian snacks and sweets! Brazilian party snacks and sweets are the best in the world, so I ate a lot. More than I should, that’s for sure. But hey, I cook my own food and control my macros and micros from Sunday to Friday. I can let myself go wild once a week.
Also! Real Madrid won La Liga for the 36th time.
So, overall, it was a good week with a perfect day.
It was a nearly perfect day, actually, as one of the partygoers was sick and just discovered it was COVID-19. So, you know, fingers crossed the universe won’t pull another prank on me.
Regarding next week, the biggest highlight is Edênica: A Fundação fifth birthday. I won’t talk a whole lot about the book here because I talked about it recently in Death is Eternal #384. So, if you want to know more about the book, you can click the link and read it. All I’ll say here is that it seems surreal that the book is five years old and that I’m proud of it and even more proud of the universe I created for it.
5. Death is Eternal review #275
Impulse by Todd Dezago and others
Dezago and the accompanying creative team faced an arduous task following William Messner-Loebs’s acclaimed tenure on Impulse. With Messner-Loebs setting a high bar that neither Mark Waid could reach, the task was understandably daunting. However, despite the challenging circumstances, the execution falls significantly short of its predecessors.
The fundamental issue with this run lies in its lacklustre storytelling. The narratives fail to captivate, leaving readers disengaged and uninspired. Characters lack depth, rendering them uninteresting and forgettable. Even the conflicts and adversaries introduced throughout the run fail to evoke any genuine intrigue or investment. Instead of eagerly turning the pages, I found myself reluctant to continue, often seeking excuses to avoid further immersion.
Regrettably, amidst the entirety of the run, not a single redeeming moment stands out. The absence of memorable scenes or compelling character developments underscores the pervasive mediocrity that permeates the title. Despite the potential, the execution falls short, failing to capitalize on the character’s rich history and potential for narrative exploration.
In summation, Impulse by Dezago and his collaborators proves to be a disappointing entry in the character’s chronicles. With lacklustre storytelling, underdeveloped characters, and a dearth of memorable moments, this iteration fails to justify the investment of time or attention. As such, readers are better served by exploring other iterations of the character that offer a more fulfilling and engaging experience.
6. The end
I missed my 2,500-word target because of the reflection—hopefully, one day, we’ll be able to embed Bluesky posts. But I can still salvage this. No, I’m sure I can. The question is, will you notice it See you next week, bye!